It's time
To come to you
Land of my lineage
Labyrinth of holy paradox
When you first summoned me I was
Too young
Too distracted
Too unsure of my own stride
To acquiesce your call
So, in the meantime
I sang your songs,
To Spirit
I let your mantras
Heal the abrasions on my heart
I committed my flesh
To your yoga
I chewed my teeth
On your dharma
I allowed you to transfigure me
And your purifying language consume me
Like a love letter sent from a distance
Years passed
Years explored
But your fierce call never ceased
You loved me while
I fought to preserve the
Integrity of my powerlessness
You loved me as
I waltzed with delusion
And in the end,
My dissidence collapsed
Under the weight of so much loving
Now, I am ready to taste your nature
With all my senses
You take the weakest beings into your fold
But you also take the strongest
And when I prostrate on your body for the first time
I will do so with an ancestry of
Of both dimensions in residence
So many renderings of self
So much karma
To cremate
I’ve been feeling your heat
But I haven’t become the fire
Yet, I’ve always known that was my destiny;
As Sati, to burn myself alive
Through one-pointed focus
Through devotion
Through you
This used to be the fear
But now, it is the promise
A joyous death
Of all that made me recoil
Of all the fallacies and demarcations
Of all the shit that masqueraded as “good enough”
I don’t want any more stakes in my ground
It’s time to make love
Like I’ve never made love before
Its time to let you engulf me;
The feeble and the formidable pieces
This convoluted mind
Finally, let it implode
Let it come crashing on down
I’m
Ready
To
Cease
To
Be
And thereafter,
When others search for who I was
All they will find
Are the ashes,
From where I burned
